Review: Lovelace (2013)

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2012 in Review: Most Disappointing

Let's get this out of the way: Most Disappointing doesn't mean "worst." I actually hate "worst films of the year" lists for this very reason: the films that end up on them are either obvious (e.g. Scary Movie 27) or are blockbusters or  high profile films that weren't terrible, but simply not good enough.

The films that appear on this list--which are, by the way, in no particular order--aren't bad movies. As a matter of fact, I'd encourage you to see any of them, but a word of caution: keep your expectations reasonable.

We Need to Talk About Kevin
Directed by Lynne Ramsey
Starring Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly
Available on DVD, digital download

This one is a bit of a cheat: We Need to Talk About Kevin came out in 2011 but was only released wide to theaters early in 2012 after strong critical acclaim and a screening at the Cannes Film Festival that stunned the audience.

We Need to Talk About Kevin is based on a book of the same name by Lionel Shriver. The novel is written as a series of letters by a woman named Eva to her estranged husband. The letters reflect on their life together, the love they shared, and the guilt she feels for how things turned out, especially in regards to their son, Kevin, and an event she only refers to in the vaguest of terms until the end of the book. I adored the novel; it was one of those rare books that made me literally laugh and wept. By the end, I cared for Eva and her family--even Kevin, who, for many reasons, doesn't deserve much sympathy.

So, yes, my expectations were high. And, maybe that's why the final product was such a disappointment. To my mind, the film missed an opportunity. The book's tone is harrowing and emotional, but it asks a very important question: are monsters born or made? What responsibility does the parent of a killer have? The film adaptation simply dips its toe in the water in this regard.

I also didn't understand some of the filmmakers' creative choices. For example, the first third of the movie--before you really understand why we need to talk about Kevin--is bathed in a sea of crimson foreshadowing the horror to come. I felt like I was being beaten over the head with the implications. (Look! Eva has what looks like blood on her hands!)

The always amazing Tilda Swinton as Eva and John C. Reilly in a rare dramatic role as her husband lead the fantastic cast. The performances are spot-on, but they aren't enough to save the effort, which feels hollow as the story's nature-versus-nurture theme is lost in the shuffle of art house parlor tricks.

The Dark Knight Rises
Directed by Christopher Nolan
Starring Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Available on DVD, digital download

I realize it would have been difficult, if not impossible, for Nolan to top, or even match, what he accomplished with The Dark Knight--a near perfect superhero movie, realistic without being too self-conscious, true to the comics without being self-indulgent. Even giving Nolan & Co. the slack they deserve, The Dark Knight Rises is a tepid, muddled affair that isn't a worthy ending to the trilogy.

Logic also takes a vacation (spoilers incoming): Batman/Bruce Wayne takes an 8 year hiatus (really?), holed up in a corner of Wayne Manor no one dares to tread--except Selena Kyle aka Catwoman, who steals the Wayne Family jewels while taking Bruce his daily bread. Bruce becomes intrigued, decides to rejoin society only to discover Wayne Enterprises is practically bankrupt (no one thought to tell him?). Meanwhile, new nemesis Bane (a highlight of the film, played by Tom Hardy) attacks the Gotham stock exchange, terrorizes the traders, and has a program installed that will wipe out Wayne's fortune. Apparently no one ever told him about the virtues of working remotely. Anyway...despite the fact that obviously an evil mastermind was behind Bruce's sudden poverty status, the power company shuts off the lights at Wayne Manor and Bruce gets it on with a mysterious, wealthy woman who wants to invest in Wayne Enterprises and take charge of a secret, energy project the company was overseeing. The sex is good and she gets her wish, but it turns out she's evil and she wants to use that secret energy project to destroy Gotham. Turns out Bane and mystery lady kinda-sorta grew up together so she employs Bane's services to take over Gotham...like all of it. He blows up bridges leading out of the city and a football field just to show he's serious. Oh, and all 3,000 (yes, you're reading that number correctly) of Gotham's police officers were under ground at the time of the explosion effectively imprisoning them. Now, that's some poor planning. But, it's worst for Bruce Wayne whose existential crisis on the meaning of being Batman allows him to be lead to Bane's secret lair by Selena Kyle, who's trying to curry favor to get her hands on some mythical computer program that will allow her to erase her past. Bane breaks the Bat, throws him down a hole in a prison in the middle of the desert--which appears to be just outside of Gotham--and for the next 30 minutes Bruce can only watch (the prison in a hole in the desert gets cable!) Bane terrorize the dear citizens of Gotham he cared so much about that he took a 8 YEAR VACATION. Finally, Bruce finds his inner Bat, defeats Bane, and commits "suicide" aka making baby eyes with Selena at a cafe in Italy.

The Dark Knight Rises isn't a bad movie, but it's silly. This trilogy deserved a better ending.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Directed by Peter Jackson
Starring Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman
Now in Theaters

The Hobbit, as a book, is about a quarter the length of The Lord of the Rings, the inspiration for Jackson's last trip into the world of hobbits, dwarves, and wizards from the mind of J.R.R. Tolkien. Three films were needed to tell that story--the same cannot be said for The Hobbit. What made The Lord of the Rings trilogy such an astonishing film experience was the depth of its story-telling. Peter Jackson brought the world to life, but it was the source materials that gave the films its soul.

Likely because of the lack of material to cull from, The Hobbit's first of three installments--An Unexpected Journey--commits the greatest sin a movie like this can: its boring. It doesn't help that it clocks in at a mind-bogglingly bloated 160 minutes. Scenes stretch on and on, unconstrained and without purpose.

The biggest problem here, I think, might be Peter Jackson. Brilliant director, no doubt about that, but as someone who has already been there and back again into the world of Tolkien, he might just be too close to the material to do The Hobbit justice. It doesn't feel like its own movie, but, rather, a dull retread of where we've already been.

Coming Up: My Favorite Films of 2012

2012 in Review: Most Surprising

2012 was a good and surprising year for film. As the year draws to a close, it's the surprises I want to focus on first. I love it when a film is more than I expected or different (in a good way) than I hoped.

Here's a look back at my biggest cinema surprises of 2012:

The Queen of Versailles
Directed by Lauren Greenfield
Available on DVD, digital download

During 2012's divisive Presidential campaign, a timeshare mogul named David Siegel sent a letter to his employees telling them it was in their own best interests to cast their votes for Mitt Romney. You see, according to Siegel's logic, another Obama term meant higher taxes for the wealthy so that meant he would have to begin to lay people off. So the message was: my guy wins or you lose your job.

The Queen of Versailles began its life as a way to document Siegel, his wife, Jackie, and their attempts to build the largest house in the United States--a 90,000 square foot behemoth the couple dub "Versailles" after the royal chateau in France. In the middle of construction, the financial crisis necessitates a very different type of film. As Siegel's timeshare business feels the crunch of banks turning off their spigots, construction stops and the family must face some harsh financial realities.

While nothing about the Siegels is subtle and its hard to feel sorry for a family whose idea of cutting back is having to continue to live in their 30,000 square foot home, The Queen of Versailles does a good job of providing a bit of humanity to the so-called 1%. While I will never support or be able to grasp the arrogance of David Siegel's election email to his employees, The Queen of Versailles helped me understand why he did it: survival.

Wreck-It-Ralph
Directed by Rich Moore
Featuring the voices of John C. Reilly, Sarah Silverman, Jane Lynch

I never thought I would be able to say this, but am pretty happy I can: this year, with Wreck-It-Ralph, Disney came out ahead of Pixar.

While Pixar's Brave was a disappointment--plodding and obvious--Wreck-It-Ralph was full of unabashed joy. This story of an old-school video game villain searching for his place in the (virtual) world is a charming confection full of fun and funny. Wreck-It-Ralph went retro to capture the hearts of nostalgic adults with nods to Nintendo and Atari (a down-and-out Q-Bert!), but also included more contemporary video game staples, including Calhoun, a bad-ass sergeant (voiced by the fabulous Jane Lynch) trying to stop a big, bad bug invasion within a Candy-Land-like racing game.

Calhoun wasn't the only great female in Wreck-It-Ralph: Sarah Silverman plays Vanellope, a candy-colored would-be race driver who discovers what she's truly capable of. In a year where Pixar wanted little girls to connect with Brave's Merida, Wreck-It-Ralph offered better female role models and more for everyone to cheer about.

Skyfall
Directed by Sam Mendes
Starring Daniel Craig, Judy Dench, Javier Bardem
Now in Theaters

Before I talk about Skyfall, I want to address Quantum of Solace--Bond's last outing. I didn't get it at first. It's a heavy film; one that's much more severe in tone than any other Bond. Since that initial viewing, I've had the opportunity to see Quantum as it was intended: as an extension of Craig-as-Bond's first film, Casino Royale. Quantum picks up as Royale ends with Bond looking to understand the betrayal and death of Vespa Lynd, a woman that had him convinced to give up Queen and Country. Both films feed into one another with the tone coming around to a much more somber and subdued Bond than we've seen before.

And that's what made Skyfall such a surprise.

While Skyfall starts with a brooding and broken Bond, he finds his wry wit again setting up future Bond films for a much a lighter and familiar tone (although think more Sean Connery than Pierce Brosnan). Add to that: a fabulously devious and not-to-be-forgotten villain (Bardem), solid pacing, and action enough to make the film feel brisker than its 143 minute run time.

I do have a few complaints--most namely the end of an era (if you've seen the movie, you'll known what I mean)--but Skyfall made me excited to see what happens next.

Stay tuned--my favorite and most disappointing movies of 2012 to come!

G.B.U. Review: Looper (2012)

Directed by Rian Johnson

Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Jeff Daniels

Now Available on DVD, Digital Download

Gordon-Levitt and Willis star as young and old versions of Joe, a "looper"--basically a hitman whose targets are sent back in time to him from the future by his employer, an all-powerful crime syndicate. The pay is good, but the benefits suck: A looper's contract is up when he's forced to kill his 30 years older self aka "closing the loop." Needless to say, Old Joe refuses to go quietly into that good night. 

The Good: Looper offers an interesting, if thin as presented, premise. Johnson creates a world that looks a lot like our own, but--given the year is 2044--adds enough touches to remind you that you're in the future. He imbues everything with the same sodden colors and heavy atmosphere as his previous films, such as the fantastic Brick. The acting is all fine, but the scenes with Jeff Daniels bring a much needed lightness to an otherwise very somber film. 

The Bad: The last third of the film focuses on a subplot involving a little boy who may or may not grow up to be a killer crime lord that's prematurely closing loops in the future. While this does come back around to the main story about Joe, the introduction of the boy and his mother (played by Blunt) feels slapdash--like I was watching another movie laid over the original. 

The Ugly: While I appreciate the filmmakers attention to detail, Gordon-Levitt's prosthetics to make him look more like Old Joe, that is Willis, were a bit distracting. 

The Bottom Line: There's a great film in the idea of having to kill your future self (and that future self knowing you're coming), but Looper isn't quite it. Despite my misgivings though, Looper is still a really solid and entertaining entry in the sci-fi genre. 

Rating: 6.5 out of 10

Review: Django Unchained (2012)

Directed by Quentin Tarantino

Starring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio

Rating: 9 out of 10

Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained is everything fans of the writer/director have come to expect: violent, offensive, and uncomfortably funny. It is also an important and brutal film about America’s uneasy relationship with slavery and racism. 

The second film in what Tarantino calls his “revisionist history” period, Django Unchained begins in the dead of night with German dentist-turned-bounty-hunter, Dr. King Schultz (another brilliant performance from German TV star, now Tarantino favorite Christoph Waltz), stopping a couple of slave traders taking their bloody and bound “property” through the backwoods of Texas. Schultz is looking for one specific man--Django (Jamie Foxx), a slave whose previous owners are wanted for murder. 

Schultz, who sees the parallels between what he does and slavery (“I trade bodies for money.”), nevertheless finds the idea of and the people connected with slavery abhorrent. He is the film’s reluctant moral core even as he admits that purchasing Django--despite his intention to give the man his freedom--will allow Schultz to make money by identifying and killing his bounty. 

Eventually, the two find Django’s previous owners and, while Django earns his freedom, the former slave shows a natural marksman talent, making him a perfect partner for Schultz, who feels a strange responsibility for the man he once, albeit briefly and for a singular purpose, owned. That partnership grows into a friendship as Schultz agrees to help Django find and buy freedom for his wife, Broomhilda--a former house slave who was so brutally punished for an escape attempt that her scars only make her acceptable for the job of providing men “comfort.” 

She is owned by Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), a charming and giddy man who treats black people like dogs and commodities, seeing no issue with fighting them for his own amusement while pondering why they don’t rise up and kill their owners. Schultz and Django hatch a plan to make them the welcome guests of Candie’s southern plantation (appropriately named “Candie Land”) and, hopefully, through a fair amount of subterfuge, buy Broomhilda her freedom. 

With Django Unchained, Tarantino has made, what in modern times and on paper, must have seemed like an impossible film. It's unflinching in its portrayal of America’s relationship to slavery. Even in the film’s most absurdly hilarious moments--there’s one in particular involving a discussion of KKK masks--there’s an underlying heartlessness and cruelty that makes the laughter awkward and frightening. While the film is never uncomfortable with itself, it wants its audience--no matter their race--to feel uneasy.  Unlike historical dramas, Django holds a mirror up to the audience, not allowing them to take a scholastic approach to slavery and the backwards ideas that allowed it to happen. 

By being so entertaining, Django makes the audience complicit in the history, in the brutality. In this way, Tarantino has pulled off something amazing--a film that deserves more than cult status, one that should be studied and talked about. One that could have been a masterpiece. 

And then Tarantino got self-indulgent. 

Sadly, the last 20 minutes of Django devolve into a revenge fantasy. This is all the more disappointing  because these waning moments begin with a stunning and powerful scene between Candie and Schultz--two men who have vastly different relationships to slavery but have both used it as a means to an end. It could be argued that given the fact that Django is intended as a throwback to spaghetti westerns that Tarantino’s choice to make the main character something just short of a superhero in the final frames could be excused.  But, given what comes before it, I would have preferred an ending that was less bloody and not as neatly wrapped up. 

Django Unchained is and will continue to be a controversial film. It can’t be easily categorized or discussed. There are few heroes and some of the monsters are easier to like. It is a challenging and violent film that won’t be for everyone, but wrapped not-so-tightly in Tarantino’s signature dialogue and humor, is a conversation about our past and what it says about our humanity. 

Review: Cloud Atlas

Directed by Tom Tykwer, Andy Wachwski, Lana Wachowski

Starring Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugo Weaving

Rating: 5 out of 10

Cloud Atlas is a movie that’s easier to admire than love. It’s a big, bold, ambitious affair that left me impressed by the telling, but not with the tale.

Directed by Tom Tykwer, Andy Wachowski, and Lana Wachowski, Cloud Atlas has one of the most impressive casts of the year: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Huge Weaving, Hugh Grant, Susan Surandon, Keith David, and Ben Whishaw. Everyone plays several characters through a series of stories taking place over hundreds of years. Many times the actors, buried under make-up, are unrecognizable.

Yes, that's Hugh Grant. Imagine Julia Roberts in the scene from Notting Hill standing opposite him. 

To give away the stories—which span from the days of slavery to a time far, far in the future—would be to spoil the movie's main strength: Cloud Atlas does an extraordinary job of layering each tale so that the interlocking and interwoven stories can be told simultaneously, right on top of one  another. The film slips effortlessly into each narrative, sometimes in bursts of just a few minutes or seconds.

That isn’t to say every story works, but there is something for everyone: a murder mystery full of greed and corruption; a raucous comedy-adventure with Jim Broadbent leading a great escape; a Blade Runner-esque dystopian tale; and others. I admire what the filmmakers have done here. While I haven’t read the book upon which the film is based, I understand that it was how to tell these rich, layered stories that caused concern with fans. No worry needed on that front.

The problem with Cloud Atlas is there’s so much going on that it’s difficult, if not impossible to connect with any of the characters. There are people to root for and those to jeer in each story, but you never stay with them long enough to care about their situation, wonder about their motivations, or really become involved in their story. Add to that: I can understand the device behind having each actor play several characters, but the effect is often distracting as I essentially found myself playing “Where’s Waldo?” with the film’s massive cast.

The prerequisite Cloud Atlas picture of Tom Hanks and Halle Berry.

Brother and sister team Andy and Lana Wachowski are probably best known for writing and directing the Matrix films. I have the same problem with Cloud Atlas that I have with the last two films in that series: it’s beautifully executed and a sight to behold, but the final product is cold and robotic. To be sure, Cloud Atlas has moments of humor, heart, and wonder, but is a mediocre film at best.  This package, however, is handed to its audience in the most exquisite wrapping; it’s a gorgeous film and an impressive feat of direction, but despite these accomplishments, Cloud Atlas is not a great movie. 

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Cookie Monster spoofs Carly Rae Jepsen's catchy 'Call Me Maybe.'

Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

I still play World of Warcraft. (The reason for this admission will become relevant. Stay with me.)

One of my favorite things to do in WoW is to take one of my high-level, geared healers and go along on low-level dungeons. There's something great about when a tank realizes that unless he does something catastrophically stupid, he can't die. I think of it as a public service.

And that's why I've read Fifty Shades of Grey. As a public service. And so you don't have to.

Fifty Shades of Grey, otherwise known, in some circles, as "mommy porn", started its life as Twilight fan fiction. That's right, boys and girls, it was originally Bella and Edward doing the nasty with duct tape and belt straps. The story goes that the mods of the fan fiction site the stories were posted on took the material down because it wasn't in line with the good ol' fashioned no biting, er, sex until marriage as prescribed by the Mormon church. All the better for author E.L. James, who took her sex fantasies, packaged them into three books, and is now a multi-millionaire.

Fifty Shades of Grey is the first book in the series. It's about a naive recent college grad named Anastasia Steele and her affair with Christian Grey, a slightly older, incredibly wealthy businessman with mommy issues. Steele is a repressed virgin; Grey has a room in his house devoted to bondage and S&M play. Oh, we have to get these crazy kids together!

And together they come. Wait, that didn't...I...you see.... Moving on.

Nothing much happens during the first quarter of the book. He moves between being an jackass and a gentleman. She's conflicted about taking up with a man that she finds rude and repulsive, yet makes her, erm, loins pulse? He takes her on a helicopter ride and gets jealous over her only male friend. Her friends think he's an ass but push her towards him. Yadda, yadda.

When sex finally shows up, it's with the tittering of junior high schoolers talking about "doing it." That is, it feels disconnected from anything resembling reality. Anastasia loses her virginity (something she has held onto until her early 20s so it must have been kinda important to her, right?) to Grey, a man whose idea of foreplay is to present Anastasia with a multi-page contract outlining what she can eat and wear as well as what sexual acts will define their relationship. About that contract: despite his assertions that the rules are for both of them, it defines her role as his sexual slave (he's the dominant). By signing, she becomes a toy he can take out of its box to tie up in private and dress up for the public. While Anastasia takes a kind of lethargic offense to the idea of the contract, that doesn't stop her from spending the majority of her time outside Grey's so-called "Red Room of Pain" (it is what it sounds like) thinking about signing it just so she and Grey can be together.

Let me repeat that: this 21st century, college educated woman spends her waking moments so consumed with the idea of bagging a rich, good-looking guy that she doesn't really balk at the idea of signing a contract in which she is reduced to a commodity. A contract that would give him control because, according to him, that's the way things need to be. Add to that, it's clear early on that this guy has serious mommy issues and might even possibly be a sociopath. Not only does Anastasia not hop on the first train/plane/mule out of town, she plays the submissive at every turn, letting him be the white knight to her proverbial damsel-in-distress, while not thinking it strange that he has a way of showing up unannounced at the most opportune times. Apparently, it's not stalking if he's rich enough.

All that aside, a book like this is supposed to be all about the carnal interludes. Bad news: they aren't particularly sexy or dangerous. I won't lie, there are moments where the book felt like a honest piece of erotica and not the mad ravings of a repressed housewife, but Fifty Shades being sold as erotica is disingenuous: this book isn't about sex; it's about the idea of snagging a rich, powerful, good-looking guy who puts his woman on a pedestal. Like Stephanie Meyer--who destroyed vampire lore and feminism in her series--Jones clearly believes that all a woman really wants is a man who makes all the other ladies swoon and has a bank account big enough to make sure she's well taken care of.

Some may say books like Fifty Shades and Twilight, these forays romantic debauchery, are harmless. Are they? We now have an entire generation of teens who think that there's something romantic about what is essentially stalking and that love is defined not by compromise, but by being willing to give up everything and everyone that defines you.  Oh, and that a perfectly healthy response to being jilted by "true love" is curling into the fetal position and considering suicide. How is any of that harmless? I'm not saying there isn't room in erotic fiction for very soft books like Fifty Shades, but does it deserve to have a place at the front of the genre with millions of fans who use it to define their romantic lives? I would say no.

I've written a lot so far and haven't even touched on the writing, which is atrocious. The books began their life as self-published digital downloads and I don't think Vintage Books did much in the way of editing when they picked the series up for print. A good editor might have really made a difference here. I don't think I would've liked the story any better, but it certainly would have made the whole thing more readable. As it was, I found myself editing through James' syntax issues and poor word choices (those of you who have read it will understand when I say that I don't think she knows what the word 'murmur' means....) as I read. Plus, it's too long with rambling passages that do nothing to further the characters or the story. I think it might be possible to read just every other page and feel like you've missed nothing.

Fifty Shades of Grey is not a good book: it's overwritten and its notions about male/female dynamics are just silly. With that said, there are moments of tantalizing eroticism with a hint at their psychological underpinnings that tease at a much more interesting story; a story I kept hoping would rise above all of James' anti-feminist babble. The book ends with the possibility of Anastasia coming into her own self, her independence. I'm betting that doesn't last though--there are two more books in the series.

The Greatest Show on Earth?

Tomorrow Water for Elephants--the life-under-the-Big-Top depression-era movie with Reese Witherspoon and Edward Cullen--will be released on DVD. 

As a real life primer to the animal cruelty depicted in the film and book, check out this this investigation from Mother Jones about the disturbing practices that are still rampant at Ringling Brothers and the USDA's inability to charge the company with any violations.

Book Review: The Abbey (2011)

The Abbey, by first-time author Chris Culver, is one of those less-than-a-buck-from-Amazon-ebooks. I wasn't expecting much. What I got was a taut thriller that, despite a few missteps in the third act, could give Michael Connelly or Jeffrey Deaver a run for their money.

The book opens with Detective Sergeant Ash Rashid heading to the family home of a recent murder victim to deliver the bad news. He's gone through this scene dozens of times before. It never gets any easier--especially now that the victim is his 16-year-old niece, whose body was found in the guest house of one of the city's most wealthy families.

Ash, who happens to be Muslim, left homicide some time before (his back story is hinted at and would make an interesting story on its own) but is fed information about his niece's case from an old partner. When the head of the homicide division closes the case with a resolution that's a bit too neat for Ash to stomach, he opens his own off-the-books investigation revealing crooked cops, a vampire club that may be a front for a drug den, and a crazed doctor who takes a personal interest in Ash.

Culver does a good job of fleshing out Ash as more than just a cop, but as a devoted husband and father and a semi-devout, but trying, Muslim. Ash is constantly at odds trying to balance his faith with what he must sometimes so to get through his days on the job. He's a person with real flaws that don't hinder his work and home life, but do hint at a darker future.

The book moves at a fairly brisk and believable pace for the first two acts. In the third, things falter as the story begins to fold under the weight of its subplots becoming a bit convoluted and wrapping up the main action a little too neatly.

The main selling point of The Abbey is the writing. The Abbey, like the best books in the genre, isn't lyrical--the writing is crisp and efficient, making it easy to fall into and travel with the story.

The Abbey is an impressive debut novel. It's proof that, perhaps, some of the more interesting new writers are eschewing the traditional publishing model for self-distribution.

I'm looking forward to Cullver's follow-up (supposedly featuring the same characters), which is due out later this year.

Buy The Abbey for the Kindle

New to Theaters: 9/16/2011

Major releases this week include:

Drive
Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn
Starring: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston

Although, at first glance, it looks like a movie that might star Nicholas Cage in his post-Oscar action picture cash grab or as a soon-to-be cancelled series on Fox, Drive--starring Ryan Gosling as the Driver--is getting great reviews.

Gosling stars as an stuntman who spends his evenings as a getaway driver for armed heists. When his boss (played by Bryan Cranston of "Breaking Bad") gets in over his head to the local tough guys, the Driver gets involved with one of those "big score" jobs that define movies like this.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: Very Fresh (sitting at 93%)

I Don't Know How She Does It
Directed by Douglas McGrath
Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Kelsey Grammer

I read this book! I didn't care for the story much, but the writing was great so.... That doesn't help us here, does it?

Sarah Jessica Parker takes time off from looking disappointed with Matthew Broderick and lobbying for Sex in the City 3: Nudist Colony to star as Kate, a 30-something (who's SJP kidding?) wife, mother, and financial analyst. To the rest of the world, Kate looks like the perfect everything, but she's drowning in a sea of her own stress. It's supposed to be a comedy. I think.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: Really Rotten (20% as of this writing)

Straw Dogs 
Directed by Rod Lurie
Starring James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgard

The original Straw Dogs (1971; directed by Sam Peckinpah) is one of the more challenging movies I've ever seen. Love it or hate it, it uses violence deliberately to challenge the viewer's ideas on morality and vengeance. It's a film that every burgeoning movie buff should seek out.

That's why this remake puzzles me. There's absolutely no need for it. I'll acquiesce that there's little need for most remakes, but this one befuddles me. Peckinpah's film is near perfect and Dustin Hoffman, in the main role as a timid man pushed over the edge, is absolutely brilliant. I just don't buy that this version, from the director/writer of the short-lived TV series "Commander in Chief" (remember? Geena Davis as the first female President?) and starring the hot vampire from "True Blood", will be much to remember. I sort of hope I'm wrong. The premise alone deserves a storyteller's respect and I would hate for a younger generation to know it only through a deflated remake.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: Rotten (Turns out I'm not wrong. Rent the original.)

My newest obsession: Desperate Housewives

Ever since I cancelled cable, I find myself becoming obsessed with TV shows I couldn't have been bothered to watch before. So now I don't engage in the brainless clicking that comes along with having cable, but rather focus on the long-game story of watching seasons of TV shows on Hulu or Netflix. I can't say I watch less TV, but I enjoy it more.

Over the last year, I've watched the entire run of "Bones", "Eureka", and "Haven." My husband and I are working our way through the new version of Battlestar Galactica (excellent). My not-so-secret current obsession is with "Desperate Housewives."

When Desperate Housewives premiered (around the time of LOST, I believe) I dismissed it. Not sure why. Maybe I thought it was one of those shows where whiny women sit around and complain about all that is wrong with their lives--as long as those problems focus on their weight or love lives.

To be sure, there's plenty of love life talk on Desperate Housewives--making it the soap opera it is--but it's what else it offers that makes the show so much fun and kind of meaningful.

The show begins with a mystery. On Wisteria Lane in Fairview, USA, there are six women--all friends and, often, enemies. In the first moments of the first episode, one of those women, Mary Alice, commits suicide. Her friends--former model Gabrielle, perfect wife and mother Bree, neurotic Susan, stressed-out stay-at-home mom Lynette, and town harlot Evie--are left wondering why and through the season work out the secrets their seemingly happy friend kept buried.

Thus begins the formula and theme of Desperate Housewives: everyone has secrets and the residents of Wisteria Lane have more than their fair share: murderous mothers-in-law, sex fetishes, kidnapped babies, fake pregnancies, sociopathic siblings....

During summers as a child, my mom and I would watch Young and the Restless. She loved her soaps and as much as I pretended to loathe them, it wasn't true. Everyone was rich and looked perfect, but was far from it. There was something about that that seemed almost...honest.

Desperate Housewives, like the Young and the Restless, takes "reality" and pumps it up to 11. As an adult, I can appreciate that even more. Day-to-day life can seem so mundane, but we all have things we're dealing with: careers, kids, relationships, personal issues. Most of the time we keep these bits about ourselves under wraps, sometimes even suffering in silence. Soapy shows, like Desperate Housewives, put these issues (admittedly exaggerated for effect) front and center. Some may watch and feel better that their own lives aren't as complicated; others may even take some level of comfort in seeing a version of life where the facade is stripped down.

While the people of Wisteria Lane are flawed, the show also does a good job of showing people at their best. A hand to hold. A shoulder to cry on. A hug from a friend.

Yup, Desperate Housewives is often silly. Convoluted. Teetering on desperate. But what keeps it from falling over the edge are main ladies of Wisteria Lane--all incredibly different, but in them attributes every woman can relate to.

PR Pro Tip: Don't lie to me.

This goes for clients to their publicists and publicists to the press and/or public. There's "spin" (a term I hate, by the way) and then there's lying. If you have to think about which you're doing, I assure you what's tripping off the tongue is an outright fabrication. Eventually the truth will be found out and we'll all end up looking untrustworthy (not to mention more than a little stupid).

New to Theaters: 8/19/2011

Major releases this week:

Conan the Barbarian
Directed by Marcus Nispel
Starring Jason Momoa, Mickey Rourke, Rose McGowan

In this remake of 80s classic (?), Conan is played by a man who looks disturbingly like a Klingon. I think the story is more or less the same: vengeful warrior with bulging muscles decides to become the savior for an oppressed nation. I'm pretty sure you can expect sword fights, a few pretty girls, and some loin cloths.

Rotten Tomatoes rating: Rotten

Fright Night
Directed by Craig Gillespie
Starring Colin Farrell, Anton Yelchin, Toni Collette

With this and Conan opening, clearly this is 80s remake week. While I was never a Conan fan, Fright Night was one of my favorites. I understand that this version is a bit more graphic, but the story is  the same: a mysterious stranger moves in next door to a suspicious teen and his single mother. The boy soon begins to suspect his neighbor is a vampire and enlists the help of his girlfriend, best friend, and a washed up horror star.

There are two things I want, nay need, from this remake: fun and Colin Farrell chewing up the scenery.

Rotten Tomatoes rating: Fresh

One Day
Directed by Lone Scherfig
Starring Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess

Based on a book that apparently a lot of people love, One Day follows two recent college graduates over the course of 20 years. They're polar opposites, yet hook up early on, and spend the next two hours playing "will they or won't they?"

Rotten Tomatoes rating: Rotten

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D
Directed by Robert Rodriguez
Starring Jessica Alba, Joel McHale, Jeremy Piven

Why? Seriously. Why?

And what in the name of all that is holy is 4D?

Rotten Tomatoes rating: Really, Really Rotten (0% as of this writing....clearly I'm not the only one asking 'why?')

Winning at Airport Security Bingo

This post was completed a few weeks back on a lonely business trip. Time clearly got away from me because I forgot to post it.

I had a plan. It was a good plan.

Today I flew for the first time since the infamous backscatter x-ray machines began working their way through our nation's airports. I had a speech prepared; one pulled from a website equally outraged at this silly attempt at security theater.

And then, for not the first time in my life, procrastination ruined my best laid plans.

Forty minutes to my flight. Security line snaked far past the ropes meant to contain it. Pre-prepared indignation put on hold.

I got to the front of the Phase One line. My friendly neighborhood TSA agent waved me over. I handed him my license and boarding pass. He was a younger short with one of those haircuts made popular by George Clooney and Matt Damon. I guess Jack Bauer had one too. Kinda.

He inspected my license. "Hey Ginger. How you doin'?" Like Joey from Friends. I want to call bullshit: he gets to crack jokes and I don't? Hardly seems fair. I made with my best "aren't you precious?" smile. That must have been what assured him I wasn't a terrorist. I wish he had told his co-workers.

I guess this is as a good a time as any to mention airports make me sweat. Not like Chris Farley or Kevin Smith sweat, but with all those bodies packed together, my natural inclination is to get a bit clammy. I've never had an out-of-body experience right at one of these special moments, but I have to imagine I don't look terribly comfortable.

Maybe that's why within a couple warm bodies of getting my laptop bag onto the security conveyer belt (Freedom--thar be up ahead!), one of Joey's TSA comrades set his eyes on me.

"Ma'am, you've been selected for additional screening."

"Excuse me?"

"Your hands. I need to swab your hands."

"Why?"

He looked nonplussed. I had deviated from the routine. For a brief second, my pre-prepared indignation did a happy dance.

"To ensure you have no materials on your person."

Let me translate: We need to make sure that between eating your bowl of Wheaties and driving to the airport this morning, you didn't decide to venture into a terrorist safe house to build a bomb.

Swabbing done. It was my turn at the backscatter. Yippee!

For those who haven't had the pleasure: you stand with your legs hip width apart holding your hands over your head with your thumbs and forefingers touching in a circle. Hold for eight seconds. TSA Yoga. DVD coming soon.

Completed with my dose of radiation, I was told to go two steps forward where a rather large woman had a surprise for me. Turns out I had won at Airport Security Bingo.

"Ma'am, you've been selected for additional screening."

I'd like to take a moment here to discuss use of the word "selected." I know that some of the greatest PR and branding minds the U.S. Government can afford probably sat around a table coming up with appropriate "soft" language; the kind of non-threatening verbiage that will put even a passenger with, say, a metric ton of explosives strapped to their genitals at ease. This word though drives me nuts though. It's too soft; too familiar. The TSA ain't Ed McMahon and a pat down isn't a really big check. I think we can all use a little honesty within this process.

I have to say--the pat down wasn't that bad. I won't be paying for the pleasure of Broomhilda (not her real name) anytime soon, but she was, shall we say, exceedingly gentle. She was almost clinical running her hands over me explaining her actions every step of the way. I was wearing a skirt and there wasn't even a hint of awkwardness there: she never went up, just lifted it slightly. Nice job, Sea-Tac.

The first leg of my journey was to Atlanta. My first single-serving friend (obligatory BILM movie reference) was a very nice man who looked and sounded a lot like Bill Engvall. I learned during our journey together that he was an airline pilot (so no "here's your sign" jokes then?) who had once flown commercial, but was now living and working in Japan flying private tours to Hawaii. A few minutes into the flight he fell asleep. Best single serving friend I've had in a while.

Things I've learned while traveling today:

• Delta Airlines has the least leg room of any carrier I have ever flown. On the upside, their flight attendants actually seem to give a shit. 
• I'm susceptible to suggestive sneezing. 
• Attendants cannot take garbage while serving beverages. 
• Delta's coffee: not bad. 
• Sea-Tac airport has this freakish mural on the large windows next to main C gates. It includes a couple in bed flanked by what looked like a unicorn and the cowardly lion. 

Dinner and a Couple of Movies: Pasta Al Pomodoro, The King's Speech, and Dogma

The Meal
On tonight's menu: Pasta Al Pomodoro, a slight variation from the cover recipe featured in this month's Bon Appetit. This is an insanely easy "scratch" sauce to make, but has enough flavor to make it seem like you spent hours slaving away in the kitchen. This recipe makes four servings. My husband and I were able to go back for seconds and had a bit left over for next-day lunch.

This paired nicely with bread sticks and a strong red wine.

3 tablespoons + 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
1 minced medium onion
2 minced garlic cloves (this might make some cooks shudder, but I used a garlic press)
A pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
One 28 oz. can tomatoes, pureed in a food processor or blender
1 Italian chicken sausage (skin intact)
1 tablespoon dried basil (or 2 spring of fresh)
12 oz. dried spaghetti
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
kosher salt


Heat 1 tablespoon EVOO in a small skillet on medium-low heat. Brown both sides of the sausage. Add 3 tablespoons of water, cover and let cook for 20 minutes, adding extra water as needed. Remove from heat. Slice sausage into bite-sized pieces.

Meanwhile, heat 3 tablespoons EVOO in large skillet or dutch oven over medium-low heat. Add onion and cook, stirring, until soft, about 10-12 minutes. Add the garlic and cook an additional 2-4 minutes. Add red pepper flakes and cook until combined, about 1 minute. Increase heat to medium, add pureed tomatoes, sliced sausage and season with kosher salt and basil; cook, stirring occasionally, until sauce thickens and flavors meld, about 20 minutes.

Meanwhile, cook spaghetti until al dente. Drain, reserving a 1/4 cup pasta cooking water. Stir in as much cooking water as needed to loosen sauce; bring to a boil. Add pasta and cook until sauce coats pasta. Remove pan from heat; add butter and Parmesan cheese. Toss until cheese melts. Add more cheese if desired.


The Movies

The King's Speech (2010)
Directed by Tom Hooper
Starring Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, Helena Bonham Carter
Rating: 9.5 out of 10

I've been slacking on my Academy Award nominees. I saw so little in the theater last year...thank goodness for Netflix and AppleTV!

But, alas, even then I seem to drag my feet getting to films I know I'll like. It's as if I'm taking them for granted: they become my go-to movies for when I need something that won't disappoint. Of course, occasionally, these cinematic "sure things" are anything but.

The King's Speech was a "sure thing."

If you're like me and are late to the party that's been draping accolades on this fine film, The King's Speech is a historical drama about King George VI's (Colin Firth) struggle to overcome his stammer using the methods of an unorthodox speech therapist, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). Yeah, it's a movie about speech therapy, but it focuses on the unlikely bond between two men from different walks of life. Before he becomes King, Prince Albert, Duke of York is the perfect austere picture of the monarchy save for his stammer, which is a constant source of humiliation and despair. His father (King George V) and his boorish brother don't understand why he can't just snap out of it. The only sympathetic figure in Prince Albert's life is his wife, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter), who finds Logue after the traditional treatments, which are more like torture than medicine, fail to work. Prince Albert is trapped, terrified and alone in his suffering; Lionel eventually gives him the tools to find his way out.

All the performances are top-notch, but Colin Firth is mesmerizing as Prince Albert/King George VI.  Prince Albert is caught between a world that teaches him that by birth he's better than others and having to rely on a "commoner" to help him become who he was meant to be. It's not an easy role to play and in the hands of a lesser actor, Prince Albert might have been wholly unlikeable, a prig unable to step down from his gilded cage. But even in moments of angry outburst, Firth  manages to show Prince Albert for the sad, scared man he is--a man who has accepted who he was born to be, but desperately yearns to be better than he is.

I remember reading some time back that Queen Elizabeth claimed to have never seen The Queen--the excellent movie where Dame Helen Mirren plays Her Highness in the days after the death of Princess Diana. I never quite believed that; if someone plays you in a movie, I can't imagine that your curiosity wouldn't eventually get the best of you. While The Queen was sympathetic in its portrayal, it wasn't always kind.

The King's Speech, however, is a love letter to King George VI's--Queen Elizabeth's father--courage and tenacity.  The Queen apparently has seen it and said she was "moved." Apparently, Queen Elizabeth's mother had requested screenwriter David Seidel not make the film until after her death because she felt it would be too painful to watch. In these days of tell-alls and the tearing down of popular figures, the respect shown the family and the film's subjects makes me love The King's Speech all the more.

Dogma (1999)
Directed by Kevin Smith
Starring Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, George Carlin, Alan Rickman, Linda Fiorentino
Rating: 8 out of 10

We decided to celebrate the non-Rapture with another viewing of Kevin Smith's controversial Dogma.

I first heard about Dogma on release because of the protests it raised around the country. The film was distributed by Lions Gate, who purchased the film after Disney and Smith supporter Miramax succumbed to pressure by groups like The Catholic League. The filmmakers received over 300,000 pieces of hate mail, including several death threats.

So was all the hoopla justified? As is often the case, no. This isn't to say the film isn't good--it remains one of my favorites in the Smith cannon--but there's nothing in it that should so easily rankle the ire of the religious. Smith is a Catholic, grew up going to Sunday school and has clearly spent a fair amount of time reading The Bible. With Dogma, he takes this knowledge and turns it into a raucous fantasy about a possible scenario for the end of the existence.

The thing is Smith is exceedingly respectful to the source material. Dogma could have been an exercise in questioning the morality and intelligence of those who believe in God (as so many films with pious characters do), but that's far from the case here.  Where he does takes some pokes is at the Church, which is a creation of Man, rather than God directly. Smith's beef, if he has one, is with Man's interpretation of God's word and ideas, rather than in whether The Big Guy (or Girl) actually exists.

Smith, with Chasing Amy and the recent and excellent Red State, has shown the ability to take high level concepts and distill them down--sometimes too far down for many viewers' tastes. While every Smith film has its share of sex jokes and swear words, there's always an emotional intelligence to the characters and the story that can be tough for those fixated on the profanity to see. Dogma follows in this vein: Loki, The Angel of Death did God's bidding until his friend and fellow angel Bartleby questioned the morality of killing humans. In a drunken stupor, Loki, quits his job causing God to banish both angels out of Heaven to spend all of eternity in Wisconsin (another side effect: angels can no longer imbibe in alcohol). We join Loki and Bartleby as they discover a loop hole in dogmatic law: a church in New Jersey is celebrating a rebranding campaign with plenary indulgence, an idea in Catholic theology that acquits the punished for sins already forgiven. If they can get to the church and become mortal (which for an angel means removing their wings), they can pass into Heaven. One problem: all of existence relies on God being infallible. If these two are able to defy His decree, existence will be negated.

With me so far?

Because apparently God likes Skeet Ball and travels out of Heaven once a month to play, He isn't around to take care of the Loki/Bartleby problem. The Voice of God, aka the Metatron, asks for the help of The Last Scion, a Planned Parenthood employee who has been questioning the existence of God since her husband left  because she couldn't bear his children. Reluctantly she agrees to travel to New Jersey and is given aid in the form of two bumbling prophets (Jay and Silent Bob) and the 13th Apostle, who claims he was left out of The Bible because he's black.

Dogma looks like a typical Smith film, which is to say it's pretty unremarkable. Where it shines--as all Smith movies shine--is in the story and dialog. It would have been easy to get mired down in minute details to try and prove a connection to God and faith or go so far to the other end of the spectrum making it near impossible to take seriously. Dogma strikes a delicate balance between using components of the Catholic religion to tell the story without being the story. Smith respects the mythology, but isn't afraid to bend it to suit the purposes of where he wants to go. In some ways Dogma could be seen as a parable for how Man uses religion, melding it and the message to suit specific purposes.

Dogma is a harmless and fun film. It doesn't aspire to uplift or inform, but it also isn't anything the religiously righteous should run from. Religion through the eyes of Kevin Smith is simply a path that one can choose to follow or not. He understands the big questions of faith and existence, but doesn't try to answer them--this isn't the movie for it and he realizes that those aren't his questions to answer.